A 92 year old man goes to his doctor and tells him he wants to have one more child. The doctor says, "Well, I think we're going to have to have a sperm sample. " He hands the old man a plastic container. The old man comes back the next day, and the doctor looks at the empty bottle and says, "What's the problem? "
The old man says, "The problem?!! The problem is I tried with my right hand. Nothin."Then I tried it with my left hand.Nothin."
Then I called the Mrs. in. She tried it with her right hand. Nope. Then she tried it with her left hand.Nope again. Then she tried it with her teeth in. No luck. Then she tried it with her teeth out. Still no luck.
That's when we decided to bring Big Helga the Swede from next door to help out. "Wait a minute" the doc said, " I can see you trying and your wife certainly giving it a shot, but why would you want to get Big Helga involved?"
The old man says," Well, we figured if anybody was gonna get the lid off that damn bottle Helga could! "